Dear Cat - Single With Nothing To Do
I recently ended things with my girlfriend after finding out she'd been cheating on me (awesome right?) and am finding that I am really struggling with what to do now that I am single. All of my friends have partners so hanging out with them just feels depressing plus my ex and I were together for 5 years so its weird to do things on my own for the first time since college. For the last five years every day has been spend with her and we never really did all that much beyond work, cook and watch TV. Do you have any advice for ways to meet new girls in Philly or what to do with my time now that I am single? I just don't even know where to start rebuilding my life or to find other single people to at least hang out with.
Dear Single With No Friends and Nothing To Do,
Let me start by saying that I am so sorry your ex was so terrible to you. No one deserves to have their trust broken like that and I hope you are taking care of you as you process through what has to be a lot of emotions.
Second, you are REALLY smart to be looking for new ways to spend your life! Sometimes after a breakup it can seem easier to stay in and keep to yourself, but I applaud you for realizing that won't help things get any better. There is so much to do in Philly, even in the LGBTQ community and if you can not only find fun new things to do but also find friends and maybe even a new boo, life will start to show you all the amazingness there is out there for you beyond this stupid ex of yours.
I'll break down a list of things I suggest you check out below but the main thing is to just get out and try stuff. And then try it again. It's my personal rule of thumb that everything should be given two tries because maybe the first time was just not how its supposed to be. For example, my first time at a pickup basketball game was horrendous. Like what nightmares are made of bad. But a year later a friend convinced me to come to a different league with her and it was SO MUCH FUN. So don't be afraid to try it twice :)
Here are my top five things I think you (and really any single LGBTQ lady or queer) should check out in the greater Philly area!
- The HER app did their first Philly party in March and we have heard rumors they have more in the works! Dating apps can feel scary but meeting up with other single women in person in a fun environment doesn't have to be! Keep an eye on their page for more details and also download the app to see what cuties are also single near you!
- Stonewall Sports - Stonewall Sports - Philly is a non-profit focused providing a fun, welcoming and social atmosphere for LGBTQA athletic competition. Whether you are super competitive or a newbie, there are teams for you and its a great way to meet fun, outgoing people. Stonewall Philly currently offers Kickball, Dodgeball, Volleyball, Billiards, and Sand Volleyball.
- Back to Basic's - A monthly queer party that has been going on for over 4 years now! Great female DJ's, usually good drink specials and tons of different people. If you are looking to have a chill night, sweat your ass off on the dance floor or meet some cuties, def check this out.
- If weekly burlesque shows with different performers is your jam, then you HAVE to check out Full Front Street. This weekly show at Victoria Freehouse is put together by dream team Honeytree Evil Eye and Josh Schonewolf. Great show, yummy drinks, hot performers, and super chill environment too!
- Philly's Gayborhood has new lesbian owned bar - Toasted Walnut! This bar opened in January and is def where you will find tons and tons of hipster lesbians playing party pong in the back! With a different mix of DJ's every weekend and events always happening, its a great place to check out.
- The Strong Catalyst!!!! It goes without saying that the ladies behind TSC and the people that are the heart of this business are some of the greatest you will find. So come to a photoshoot, get involved with their newest event, be apart of planning The Revolution 2018, or follow the people who are apart of what they do. Chances are, you'll find other amazing people, a few new friends and maybe even a few hotties to crush on.
Just get out there and try stuff! There are so many amazing talented people in this city, including you, so let them get to know you and let you get to know them. You've got this girl!
You're Stronger Than You Know,
**All names have been changed for the privacy of all involved**
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